We live in a society that’s obsessed with evolution. I’m not just talking about the ‘monkeys are our ancestors’ belief; I’m talking about the obsession with making technological advances. If you’re not moving forward, you’re standing still, right? We can’t have that. We can’t be happy with what we have; we always need more. We need alarm clocks that force-throw us out of bed, because God forbid we do it on our own. We need cars that drive themselves because operating with one’s feet, hands and eyes is much too difficult and more importantly way too annoying while sitting down. And let’s not forget the need for smart TVs and houses that operate on demand, because pressing the on/off button, flipping a switch, and/or pouring your own water is too much of an effort for us, the Great Humans to endure. 

And yet, for such a society, we sure take a lot of interest in the ‘DIY’ phenomenon. Platforms like Pinterest and YouTube are flooded with pictures, videos, tips and tutorials on how to get a bunch of cool things done without professional help. “Why spend money and pay someone for something you can easily do at home all by yourself?”

I’ll tell you why. Because you should stick to what you know, that’s why.

I have about a million examples of ‘DIY’ fails; and the internet has even more, but today I’m going to share two times when I was “on a budget” and turned to the internet for help. 

• HAIR – Times are changing. Mismatched clothing patterns and Unicorn hair are cool. Green is my favorite color and I have hair so why not give it a go and mix the two, eh? Well, “why not” was quickly answered when I looked at my schedule and then my wallet, both of which were neither friendly nor accommodating. Dying hair is a process, and let me tell you folks, it’s a long, expensive one. Last time I got highlights I spent 5 hours at a salon and paid $300. So, finding myself in the predicament of wanting a change, but not wanting to repeat the aforementioned, I decided to be all “I’m a woman, I can do all the things” and search for a cheaper, less time consuming, DIY alternative. Naturally, Google flooded me with an obnoxious amount of results for temporary hair coloring. Phew, temporary – I thought to myself – at least I can bust a U-turn if this shit goes sour. So I read a couple of reviews and watched a ‘how to’ video, settling on some product the name of which I don’t even remember because I erased it from my database – yeah, it was that horrible. You see, here’s what was supposed to happen: a seamless application with no stains anywhere, resulting in a beautiful, soft, bright head of hair, lasting until the next wash. Here’s what did happen: green sink and hands, a tangled mess of hair, twice the normal volume, the color of which looks like I took a dip in a swamp. I’d show you pictures, but like I said, along with the product name, those are long gone.

• NAILS – Who doesn’t like a nice pampering session? You lay back in a massage chair and your biggest worry is picking a color and trying not to laugh when they start scrubbing the bottoms of your feet. The problem with all that luxury is it costs money. Duh. On average you’re spending about 40/50 bucks per week on nails; more if you opt for Gel, which lasts longer. And just in case you didn’t know, if you get Gel, and then you want to switch to regular nail polish the next time, they charge you at least $5 depending on the place, just to take the old nail polish off. This is precisely where I found myself at the CVS, looking up DIY tutorials on my phone for taking off gel nail polish at home. I thought to myself – Psh, I’m not paying 5 bucks for something I can easily do myself. 5 bucks is 5 bucks. Let’s see, all I need is a specific solution, some cotton balls, tin foil, a nail buffer, and since I’m already here, let me also grab this nail strengthening nail polish. Forty dollars later, I’m at home, trying to Edward Scissorhand my way through this process, wondering why the hell the salons are charging so little for such a pesky procedure. Seriously, it was one of the most annoying things I’ve done maybe ever. Not only did I spend more money than I originally intended NOT to spend, filling my bathroom cabinet with more stuff that I’ll never use again but refuse to throw away, but I also spent more time on a process that would have taken the professionals maybe 5 minutes. Never again.

I did eventually go on to find a very good hair color alternative; not at all expensive, and the results are amazing. As far as removing nail polish goes however, I’m sticking with “never again”. Having said that, not all DIY scenarios are doomed; you just have to really pick and choose between what’s worth it and what isn’t.