Psychologists often like to point out that your self-destructive nature isn’t doing you any favors; however subtle they are about it in between of all the ‘how do you feel about that’ inquiries. They say it’s up to you to change things if you want things to be different. They’re not wrong. For one, they don’t want to fix you entirely, nor can they. It’s not beneficial to them due to the fact that their paycheck would take a beating every time they ‘fix’ someone. Secondly, it’s downright impossible. It really does all depend on you and your will power to want to fix yourself; a psychologist is merely there to help you get to the root of the problem. Since that is their ultimate goal, it’s not entirely unethical for them to take their time while accompanying you on this journey of self-discovery.
I don’t think I’ll ever go to a psychologist. I already know what most of my issues are and where they stem from. Anything new that I have to discover I can do through my friends that justifiably refer to themselves as life coaches. Not to mention, life is a pretty brutal coach itself. It makes me go through the journey of self-discovery on a daily basis; I am practically my own psychologist. Every day I ask myself: How do you feel about that? Is that an emotional response or a logical one? Think about it Anastasia, take a few steps back and analyze the situation. Is it worth the stress? Are you going to wake up tomorrow feeling the exact same way you do right now or are you gonna laugh about how silly it is? If you feel that it is in fact important and needs not to be brushed under the rug just to resurface later, then do you perhaps need to mold a better way of addressing it?
All these questions run through your head a million miles a minute of course; and sometimes the unreasonable emotional side of you wins; that bitch. Other times you forcefully put them on pause; you muffle them until further notice. I’m always amazed with myself when I’m able to do that; I feel like it’s such an accomplishment to be able to control your emotions.
It’s too bad that your brain likes to neglect the ‘do not disturb’ memo. On the contrary it likes to bring all that ugliness back to the surface at the most inconvenient of times. One of those times, which happens to be at the top of the list is when you’re exhausted after working for 16 hours straight and all your body wants to do is go to sleep. That’s when your brain is like ‘let’s talk about it’. I swear it’s like I’m in a relationship with the most annoying and needy brain of all time. And it’s not like you can kick it to the curb; this one is here to stay. So what you’re left with is accepting it; embracing your restless mind, body and soul as is and hugging it until the voices in your head finally shut the fuck up before you have to wake up and do it all over again. No wonder psychologists have one of the highest suicide rates.