First of all, are we talking Caesar salad? Because that one is definitely a foe; it has zero nutritional value and it’s known to stab you in the back. We’re not though. We’re talking about a salad that almost prevented me from completing that which I set out to do today: write. I understand it must be confusing. How can a salad do anything except provide you with a feeling that you did something good with your life for a change? Well, this one can.

It all started with a health kick on January first; not to be confused with a New Year Resolution, because let’s face it, those have a high fail rate and I’m not planning on failing. I made a promise to myself to start eating better, drinking less, get in shape, stay in shape, do more of the things that are good for me rather than just things that provide temporary satisfaction but ultimately leave me feeling unfulfilled, etc. This revolutionary road to greatness that I’ve chosen, continues to be paved with many challenges, both physical and of character; and so far I’m driving through this bad boy in a Rubicon with raised wheels, covered in dirt and loving it.

There are hiccups of course, but as I’ve been learning it’s important to not focus on those and focus on small victories instead. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to be mindful of the ‘bad to good’ scale. Like, you probably shouldn’t pat yourself on the back for waking up early (small victory) if you were shooting up heroin the night before, ya feel me? Balance.

I do want to focus on one hiccup though; mostly just to acknowledge it so we can all move on with our lives, learning from it. This is where the mystery salad comes in.

I had the perfect plan. I started my day out with a yoga session followed by working out at the gym. The only thing on my itinerary for the rest of the day, besides walking my dog and feeding all living things that reside under my roof, myself included, was to WRITE. I’d been struggling trying to find the time and oddly enough the motivation, even though it’s something I truly enjoy. So I cleared the day of all other chores and I even put it on my calendar that today is the day; I shall conquer my whatever that’s holding me back and I will WRITE.

Fast forward to 10pm — I have done nothing but eat and clean the house here and there, all day. Sure, I ate good food and cleaning is hardly looked down upon, but unfortunately for this particular case that’s not the point. I didn’t do the one thing that I said I would do! Feeling guilty, I think to myself – ‘Look, there’s technically two hours left in the day, you can still do it; just knock one out, real quick, do it right now’. And with that thought in mind, for some reason, instead of grabbing my laptop or a pen and paper even, I open the refrigerator door. Oh my, would you look at that! All these veggies! They’re bound to go bad if I don’t utilize them right away… And so, I make myself a salad. Bitch, you’re not even hungry! What are you doing?

Naturally, I spent the last three hours trying to blame the salad for trapping and derailing me; pretending to be a good doer while preventing me from accomplishing my goals. Here’s the thing. It’s obviously not about the salad. The salad is a craftily planted decoy; planted by my own mind no less. It’s a psychological monster hiding in a bed of lettuce, covered in delicious and natural juices. It’s nothing but a distraction; an excuse to not do the thing that I should be doing.

So let’s go back to the original question. Salad: Friend or Foe?

I’m going with Friend. Even though for a while there it seemed like the salad was out to get me, I was able to not only come to my senses and stop doing ridiculous things like blaming food for my own shortcomings, but I also managed to write about it. Go green!

Side Note: The salad was actually quite magnificent. I was pretty amazed at how it turned out, despite a very weird mixture of flavors, as well as the back story about it being “evil” and whatnot.

• Leaf lettuce, chopped
• Yellow cherry tomatoes, halved
• Grapefruit, peeled and chopped
• A little bit of low sodium soy sauce
• Unrefined sunflower oil
• Ground thyme

It’s not the same salad as the one in the featured image. Although that one looks good too 😉